Politically Incorrect USA

The Perfect Valentine Gift For The Trumps Is Up For Auction This Month

valentine for Trump
The perfect Valentine gift for Trump?

Dear Melania,
Looking for the perfect Valentine’s gift for the dictator in your life? Turns out the ideal present for the budding fascist in your boudoir is up for auction this month in America. What synchronicity!

It’s the old, red rotary phone that used to belong to the Führer himself. Red for Valentine’s Day and “arguably the most destructive ‘weapon’ of all time, which sent millions to their deaths around the world.” What could be more appropriate than that for a hubby with ambitions of hostile bans and registries of entire world religions, ineffectual braggadocious walling off of our neighbors, or showing morbid affection for Russian dictators prone to murdering their detractors?

Hitler's phone picture
What an affordable gift for a Trump Valentine!

This perfect gift even has an engraved eagle with a swastika on it on the back – a metaphor that is exactly right for the Honeymoon in the White House going on today. True, it was extracted from a “dreadful hellhole” of a Fuhrerbunker that still smelled of burning flesh, where Adolf’s aspirations of world dominance and power were reduced to ashes. However, a narcissist will only find that an intriguing diversion without seeing the relevance anyway.

back of Hitler's phone
The back shows the perfect engraving for a budding fascist leader of America

This old relic delivered most of the commands that were given during the last two years of World War II. Can you just picture the re-enactments as your golden boy fancies what executive orders he might deliver with thunderous voice? As he commands one the world’s largest military powers at the swipe of his little finger? Yes, the timing of this auction seems ideal given the circumstances of events in Washington today. There is no price too high for your fascist Valentine this year.

You might even get a porcelain hellhound for added sentimental touch…

See video of the phone below:


Featured images from YouTube video

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About Matthew Silvan 2 Articles
Matthew Silvan is a gay man from the American South who has spent years fighting against the scapegoating and demonization imposed on the LGBT community by Republicans and religious hypocrites and zealots. His writing reflects the constant struggle to overcome the inequality and discrimination still rampant in America. He is an advocate for diversity and progress, with a passion for nature and preserving the environment, who also tends to approach things in a lighthearted way despite it all.