For 8 years, unitoothed preppers and tinfoil mad hatters stockpiled their boomsticks, terrified that President Obama was going to send teams of Black Panthers door to door to grab them all up. Over that 8 years, these same reality-challenged potatriots promised that Obama was going to institute martial law, shred the Constitution, and lock everyone up in FEMA camps. He was going to secret Muslim away all of our freedoms by performing mandatory Sharia abortions with burning flags. Behind closed doors, he did unspeakable things to eagles while handing out free phones to illegal immigrants. Not a single prediction from these trailer-park Nostrodumbasses came to pass.
For 8 years, President Obama faced unprecedented obstruction to everything he tried to do. He was criticized for every vacation he took, any round of golf he played, every executive order he signed. He was even criticized for crying over the dead kids at Sandy Hook. His family was repeatedly slandered, especially Michelle. She was called things like “wookiiee” or “Moochelle” and accused of being secretly a transgender person born with the name “Michael”. She was insulted for wanting the school lunches our kids eat to be healthier.
Now, these very same people are calling for unity. They want all of us liberal snowflakes to get over the fact that we lost the election and accept the rule of our new right-wing overlords without dissent. Well that’s just not going to happen.
I’m a liberal because I believe everyone is equal. Nobody has the right to tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body. Nobody has a right to tell others who they are allowed to fall in love with. Nobody has a right to force their religious beliefs on anyone else. People are more important than profits, every time. I don’t believe these things because I decided to be a Democrat one day and just adopted their platform. I believe these things because, to me, it’s common sense. Basic human decency. None of that has changed with this election. To suggest that I quietly deal with it while Tinyhands Peeguzzle empties his clown car of ineptitude into his cabinet, filling positions with people who hold the polar opposite views, is frankly insulting.
Conservatives are right about one thing (broken clocks and all), there’s nothing that can really be done about this mess they’ve burdened us with. Not until the ballot boxes open up again. After having to endure 8 years of bellyaching about imaginary nonsense that never came to be, they can buckle up for 4 years of me bitching about real things that actually happen, though. Maybe the hyper-sensitive Trumpanzees can find a safe space to help them manage their sads over the scary words.