I’m very highly educated. I know words. I have the best words. I’ve done very well with them. Tremendously well. And I’ve had great experience. This has been a very good cash cow for me for a very long time. For us, because I’m with you. I have no special interest. My only interest is you, the American people. I want to make America wealthy again. I will fight for you, and I will win. The only way we won’t is if the system is rigged, I have to be honest.
This is the best, I guarantee.
I know, because I wrote the book on that. I use words like I, money, easy, free, results, honest, and guarantee. I stay on the offense. I pray on emotions. And I guarantee, I get results. And money. I have so much money. I made it too easily, to the point of boredom. Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich. You have to be wealthy in order to be great.
I use short sentences. Easy to read. Because I love the poorly educated. We’re the smartest people, we’re the most loyal people.
This article is a winner. My life has been about winning. My life has not been about losing. I don’t like losers. They’re weak, and they’re small. If they’re small, something else must be small. I’m not. Look at those hands. Are they small hands? I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee!
I want to make America wealthy again
Is there anyone else who can do this better than I can? I make money whether I win or lose. I have a detailed ten-point plan. All I can tell you it is a foolproof way of winning, and I’m not talking about what some people would say, but it is a foolproof way of winning, and it will be absolutely, 100 percent. I ran it past two or three people. It’s so simple. It’s like the paper clip.
You know, somebody came up with the idea of the paper clip and made a lot of money and everybody’s saying, ‘Boy, why didn’t I think of that, that was so simple.’ This is so simple, so surgical, it would be an unbelievable thing. I like saying that because it means a great deal to me.
This post can’t lose, unless the whole system is rigged against us.
Share this. We can’t lose. The only way we can lose, in my opinion – I really mean this, is if cheating goes on.
We have a mess out there — we have a total mess. My opponents are the corrupt defenders of a rigged system and a failed status quo. There’s a lot of them, my friends. Pigs, dogs, slobs, killers, criminals, rapists, radical islamic terrorist refugees, Miss Housekeeping. Reporters making me look bad. Khizr Khan’s wife, maybe she wasn’t allowed to have anything to say, you tell me? A guy in a wheelchair who can’t buy a pair of pants. How stupid are Iowans? My African-American over there. I have a great relationship with blacks, but black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.
I’m afraid this system is rigged, I have to be honest. We gotta beat a totally dishonest machine. It’s a crooked system. We’re running against a rigged system, and we’re running against a dishonest media.
We’re going to do great things. Believe me, tremendous things. I’m representing a tremendous many, many millions of people. If I lose, I think you’ll have riots. I think bad things would happen, I really do. I believe that. I wouldn’t lead it but I think bad things would happen.
If I lose, I will never forgive you. Because we’re still right and they’re still wrong. Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest, and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.
You know why we can’t lose? We’ve got the best supporters, don’t we folks? We’re going to win so much, you’re going to be sick and tired of winning. Believe me, I agree, you’ll never get bored with winning. We never get bored. We are going to turn this country around.
I understand the great responsibility you have placed with me, and I will never let you down. We won’t let that happen. God bless you, and God bless America. And Vladimir Putin. He’s a powerful leader.
Editor’s note: Yes, Donald Trump didn’t actually write or say three of those sentences. Sue us. Featured image from wikimedia commons.